The Greatest Man I Know

As many celebrate fathers today, we reflect on the type of man who raised us. Sadly, there are many who won’t have fond memories or no memories at all. Some dads have already left to their eternal home, and some dads are still here. Some dads have never had a big part in their kids’ lives at all. I want to thank God because I still have my dad at 77 years of age.

There’s a song titled “The Greatest Man I Never Knew” by Reba Mc Entire. It is about the relationship between an adult child and the father that really never existed. The father was too busy to spend time with this child. He worked a lot and didn’t say much when he was home. Even though they lived in the same home, that’s all they did – lived in the same home. The father has died, and that child never got to hear that the father loved her.

For me, I have to say the opposite of my dad. My dad is the Greatest Man I Know! I don’t feel disconnected from him. I am actually very close to my dad now in my adult years. We have some really deep spiritual conversations, and I know I can always go to my dad for advice, even when it’s something personal. My dad is the most godly man that I know who has never strayed from the Christian lifestyle that he chose 39 years ago. Even when he has been hurt and betrayed, he is always humble and forgiving. Even when we kids have hurt him tremendously, he has such a deep, unconditional love for us and would do anything for us.

Growing up, my dad wasn’t as present or involved as I wish he had been; but he was still better than most of the dads I knew of back then. I am grateful because of the foundation that was centered around Jesus in our home. As we have all grown up, we have all dabbled in rebellion. But I can never say that it’s because of the example shown by my parents. If anything, they tried to protect us so much from a sinful life that it was just too tempting as I got older.

My dad has realized and acknowledged the mistakes that he made as a father. And that has helped me to be intentional to raise my kids much differently than I was raised. I’ve been able to take the things I liked and the things I didn’t like about my upbringing, and it has helped shape the way I raised my own kids.

I owe so much gratitude to my Savior, Jesus Christ, for the family that I have been blessed with. But I also thank my parents for the type of family that we have grown to be. We have our conflicts from time to time, but our family bond is extremely tight. Our favorite thing to do is hangout together talking, eating, and playing games. I am truly grateful and blessed.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!

Brandon Robert

It is official…I am the mother of 4 young adults. I no longer have any minors in our family. Today at 11:25 a.m., Brandon officially turned 18 years old. Brandon is my military baby, my war child. Brandon came during a time when Danny was deployed to Iraq for 18 months. Danny was deployed on Valentine’s Day 2003, when I was 6 months pregnant with Brandon. I still remember that the morning Brandon was born, Danny called me to get an update. It was around 5 a.m. and I told Danny, “no baby yet.” Then I hung up with him and went back to sleep until the time I had to wake up Hannah for school. I remember that my water suddenly broke and all the chaos began. My mom was already staying overnight with us, and my dad came over to help take me to the hospital. Lackland AFB had a backed up line of cars at the gate, and my dad had so much patience to wait. I, on the other hand, was in labor, leaking water, and crying with painful contractions! I stuck my head out the window of the car and started yelling that I was in labor. People started moving out of the way to make a path for us to get through to the gate, and we were immediately checked into the hospital. Brandon came less than 3 hours of us arriving. I was sent home the very next day after they gave me a steak dinner in my private room! When Danny called the following evening, he was shocked that the update he got was, “Yup, he’s here and we’re already home!”

Brandon is a motivator. He is a planet shaker and one who takes initiative to get things done, WHEN he wants to get them done. He has had a tough year as a senior in his last year of school, as he has been doing the remote learning. But when he puts his mind to it, he gets things done. He is my photographer and videographer. He enjoys working as a sports production staff member. He loves to workout and play basketball and volleyball. He loves to sing and worship the Lord. I am so proud when I see him in his room reading his Bible and writing in his journal. He seeks God and wants to always grow closer to Him.

Brandon loves to drive his car and listen to music. He is very independent and has been waiting for that green light to be able to do things without having to always ask.

Brandon is a loyal friend who loves to hang out with the people he’s closest to – his family and framily that consists of friends as close as family members. He has recently found new friendships with his FLAME Family. He has really grown closer to them and in his relationship with Christ.

Danny and I are so proud of all our kids. We are humbly thankful that despite our own mistakes and failures, we have managed to raise these amazing kids who are so much better than us in different ways. We are so grateful for Brandon and for God loaning his life to us to take care of. Just because he is 18 doesn’t mean that our job has ended. We will always be there for each of our kids for as long as God allows us to have breath here on Earth. It truly doesn’t end at 18 – we will always be their parents, and they will always be our children.

Happy 18th Birthday Brandon Robert

Lloyd’s Speech

December 21, 2020

Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

This speech was given by one of Jaguar’s team brothers and good friend, Lloyd, at the 7th Group Memorial Service in November. It was beautifully written and captures the kind of man Jaguar was and the testimony he leaves behind. The photo references the story he shares about him. I remember seeing the photo months ago, and just like he said, I didn’t think much of it because I didn’t know the context in which it was taken. Thank you Lloyd for voicing what Jaguar always kept quiet. ~S

Roll Call

May 18, 2021
Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

With Jaguar and Antonio’s memorial in NC coming up next week, I am reminded of an indelible moment that took place at the 7th Group Memorial in Florida back in November.

It occurred during the final roll call and it still causes me to tear up today. The final roll call is when each team member’s name is called and they answer with “Here Sergeant Major”. It’s heart wrenching for families waiting to hear their loved one’s name called knowing that they will not be there to answer. As the final roll call begins for Jaguar and the names begin to be called out, my heart becomes anxious, the lump in my throat grows, my body tenses. . . then they call for Jaguar.

Sergeant Major: SFC Gutierrez – (s-i-l-e-n-c-e)

SFC Javier Gutierrez – (s-i-l-e-n-c-e)

SFC Javier Jaguar Gutierrez – (s-i-l “Here Sergeant Major!”)

Startled. Confused. Who had spoken? It takes me a second to process that Javier, no longer able to tolerate the silence, had answered for his beloved son. His loving gesture hits me so deep that my tears are unceasing. Even though it’s been months since that day, I still get emotional every time I think of a father who only wanted to hear his son answer, and when he didn’t, he shouted to the world that his son was still here.

Snow Moments

May 15, 2021
Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

As a teenager, Jaguar enjoyed watching documentaries about military campaigns and battles. One afternoon while I was in the kitchen, he approaches me with the biggest smile and giggles, “I never knew why, but now I do.” Puzzled, I just stood there looking at him. He goes on to explain that in watching these documentaries, he noticed something similar in many of them. He said many great battles in history took place during the coldest of temperatures, heavy snowfall, and/or worst of the worst weather. He said it left him in deep thought as to why they shared this common occurrence. It was something he continually pondered.

Well, that day Jaguar got his answer and he was thrilled to share it with me. He had been reading the book of Job in the Bible. Job was a righteous man who suffered great tragedy. In his heartbreak, he questions his faith and seeks to ask God about the injustice he feels. Instead of God answering him, God proceeds to ask Job a series of questions about creation. It is here where Jaguar found his answer. In Job 38:22-23 God asks Job, “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle?”

Silly Jaguar

May 13, 2021
Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

Jaguar was an affectionate son. Like his big sister Jena, he loved to hug and cling on to me. He always sat or stood close to me, especially when taking photos. Buuuuuuuttt, he had a gross habit that he NEVER outgrew. It started in his early childhood. He would lick his lips and plant a good kiss on my cheek. Wiping his saliva off with the back of my hand, I’d cringe, “Jaaag, you’re so gross!” He found it so funny and would giggle, “I love you mommy.”

When he would come home on leave, he’d look at me from a distance, walk toward me, open his arms wide, nod his head while swirling his tongue across his lips to make sure I saw, pucker up, and, yep, plant a solid wet one on me. Even though it would always make me cringe, I had long ago given in to his slimy way of showing me love. I don’t know what our heavenly reunion will be like, but if it’s anything like before, I gladly look forward to it ❤.

Ongoing Process of Grief

May 11, 2021
Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

As Javier and I prepare to attend another memorial for Jaguar in a couple of weeks, this time in Fort Bragg, NC, there’s a few more stories I’ll be sharing about him in upcoming posts. My grief is an ongoing process as the weight of what’s been lost continues to crush me daily. Some days, every step I take feels like I’m walking in concrete boots. Other days it’s concrete boots while carrying sand bags of life’s difficulties and pressures.

Be encouraged my friends and family: “Do not lose heart. . . . For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, we do not look at the things that are seen, but at the things which are not seen. . . .” (2 Cor 4:16-18)

Mother’s Day 2021

May 9, 2021
Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

When Jaguar entered the world, my doctor offered to have us taken home in his Rolls Royce and escorted by his chauffeur. I remember feeling proud to be bringing my baby boy home in style. Never could I have imagined that it was just a prelude as to how he would exit this world.”Since his days are determined, and the number of his months is with you, and you have appointed his limits that he cannot pass, ” (Job 14:5)Thank you Lord for the time you gave me with Jaguar and the gift of being his mother.

A year later…

February 8, 2021
Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

February 8th.
There is still SO MUCH I could share about the last year, but it has become overwhelming to keep up with everything. I’m physically and emotionally drained from it all, yet if there was another honor I had to attend for my son, I gladly would. For now, I continue to write about it and learn from it, and when I find the strength to share, I will. I’m thankful for Jag’s army buddies and team brothers who came to spend time with us this weekend. Lots of laughs and lots of tears. It was good for the soul. Family forever! And for everyone else who reached out, thank you!!! Our healing continues, as well as for Antonio’s family. We ask for your continual prayers for those warriors that are still recovering from the attack that day. May we also remember their families.

Another Loss

December 29, 2020
Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

Friends & family, we ask that you continue to pray for our family.
Javier’s father passed away late last night. As before, we are taking things moment by moment, and we are leaning on the Lord’s grace to carry us through these difficult times. ✝️

January 1, 2021
Author: Sylvia Gutierrez

For the last year, we have been wrapped in a blanket of sorrow, a blanket that, in the last few days, has tightened its grip on us and continues to darken our days. Our faith is what has preserved us, its soft bed providing rest for our weary souls, and its shining beacon penetrating even the darkest of our days. Our family has suffered tremendous loss, a shockwave that will be felt throughout our lifetime. Jaguar and Roberto have gone ahead to reside with our Savior, and one day, where they are, we will also be ✝️.

Thank you all for your prayers and support ❤. ~S