Our Story of Joy in Finding Love Again

Author: Aurora Monsivais-Cruz

I married my high school sweetheart and was with him for 17 years.  Unfortunately, he hurt me deeply by being unfaithful in our marriage.  It was something that I tried to get past, but I just couldn’t do it.  I believe it can be done, and I commend those who are married and get through adultery.  But for me, I just found it impossible to heal from.  When I look back, I wonder if I could have done things differently.  But the way my life is now, I have no regrets.  Maybe if my life would have turned out differently, I would have regrets; but because I feel so blessed in my life and I did find love again, and God blessed me with such a wonderful man, I have no regrets.  I believe that everything happened according to God’s will, and God always has the better plan.  His plan is always better than our own.  So everything was supposed to happen the way it was. 

For a long time, I felt guilty and would wonder if I was such a godly woman, why couldn’t I forgive my husband at the time.  Why couldn’t I get over it?  I really struggled with that for a long time.  I stayed in the marriage an extra 5 years and I tried to get past the pain, but I just could not get over it.  Any little thing would trigger me, so every chance I got, I would just throw it in his face.  The resentment would come out because the devil is a liar, and I was weak in that way.  God must not have been the center of our lives – I thought He was, but obviously we were not strong with the Lord.  We were believers of the Lord and always had been.  But the devil is a liar and life happened.  So we eventually got divorced, and it was very difficult being a single parent.  I struggled a lot financially and balancing work and family.  I never received any child support, but the kids had their father in their lives.  I struggled to pay the mortgage and bills I was left with and eventually had to file for bankruptcy.  My life was a financial disaster.  Being someone with perfect credit and being a homeowner at the age of 24, we seemed to have it all.  We were the picture-perfect family at a very young age.  Living on one income was so difficult, and I didn’t make that much money.  There were times I didn’t eat so that my kids could eat.  My grown kids still carry those childhood memories, reminiscing on the days when they saw me scrounging up change to get them burgers from the dollar menu at McDonald’s.  They never went hungry and we never went without.  It was an up-and-down battle being fought alone. 

I was in another serious relationship for a few years after my divorce, but that did not transpire to anything long-term.  I stayed single for a year after that break-up, and now years later after my marriage ended, I was now 37 years old.  I spent a year on my own and just focused on myself and God.  I went through some minor depression, and friends would try to get me to go out and meet someone else.  But I needed that time to get to know myself and learn the things I wanted in life.  I needed that time to get used to being alone.  I finally reached a point where I was able to accept and embrace the idea of being alone, and I was fine with it. 

Eventually, I was convinced to meet someone through mutual friends.  I agreed to go on a very casual group date to meet this guy.  We both had no idea what the other looked like.  Our mutual friend just knew that they wanted us to meet each other.  We were initially supposed to meet at Olive Garden, but my date wound up having to cancel at the last minute.  I did not care to meet him, so I still wanted to go eat with my friends.  I didn’t even give it much thought.  But the following weekend, my friends set up another outing at El Jarro de Arturo.  We were waiting for him at the bar, and in his version of this story, he has always said that when he saw me, he thought to himself that he was hoping I was the woman he was going to meet that evening.  I put my hand out to shake hands, but he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  We both felt that “love at first sight” feeling.  Even though there was a group of about 10 people that night, I don’t even remember any conversation with anyone but him that night.  We spent the whole night so engaged in conversation with each other that we blocked everyone else out.  We showed each other pictures of each of our kids, and I was already imagining that I would be his daughter’s stepmother one day!  This was a really sweet and special night that I will never forget, and I always say that I fell in love with him that night.  I later found out that he was disappointed because I didn’t ask him for his number.  But my friend explained that I wasn’t the type to ask for a man’s number.  He wound up asking for my number, and we began talking.  From that point on, we were inseparable and spent almost every day together.  Soon after, he met my parents and we moved in together in just a few short months.  Everything seemed to be happening so fast, and my family was against the idea of us living together without being married.  But I knew that this was the man I was going to spend my life with.  We both knew it in our souls.  I knew he was it for me, and I was willing to walk away from my past home to be with him.  I sold that house, and we started our new life together in another home with a new beginning.   The love between us was so real, so genuine, and it brought us so much happiness.

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Hector has been a father for my children and has done more for them than most fathers would do.  Whatever they need, he is there for them.  He has helped provide for them not only financially, but emotionally.  I love his daughter as my own as well.  When we first met, it was a difficult transition for her at first because she was so young and had not seen her dad with anyone else.  But with time, she began to trust me more and got closer to me. 

I shared this story on my social media recently, and it describes how wonderful and supportive my husband has been:

In this picture, it was December 2019.  I already knew about my breast cancer diagnosis here, and I didn’t want to get out of bed on this day. I was so down, and my hubby knows I love to celebrate New Year’s Eve. He made me get out of bed, wiped my tears away, and made me get all dolled up. I will never forget this. Because he said, “I’m not gonna let you do this to yourself!” OMG is this man incredible or is he incredible?!?! This was the start of the courage that was growing inside of me, and it started with my husband.   This incredible man right here!  Guys, I don’t talk enough about him! He not only was my caretaker during my cancer journey and catered hand and foot to me;  but he also cheers me on every day for my health and wellness business. He tells me every chance he gets, “you got this babe, my CEO!”  OMG I love him so much!  He is my life partner, my best friend, my “pick me up” when I’m feeling down, my soul mate! Thank you, God, for my most precious blessing in life , my husband.

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If you would like to read more about Aurora’s journey in Finding Joy in her life, read the following links as she shares her battle with breast cancer and her journey to finding financial freedom.

https://findjoy.blog/2021/03/10/my-story-of-finding-joy-in-my-journey-with-breast-cancer/

https://findjoy.blog/2021/03/10/my-story-of-joy-in-the-journey-to-financial-freedom/